Aging population Finds an Ally in East Lansing Prime Time Seniors LGBTQ+ Programming

Although attitudes are changing to be more open-minded and accepting of people’s sexual identities, that doesn’t mean coming out is easy – especially for older generations who the legacy of discrimination against LGBTQ+ people hangs heavy over.

Despite progress, past and current discrimination against LGBTQ+ people continues to hurt many in the community who grew up in a time when coming out often meant exclusion, depression and danger. 

“They don’t know if they’ll be welcome in that senior community or able to live with their partner of 30 years in the same room,” Prime Time Seniors Director Alesha Williams said. “There has been a big push for senior communities to be more aware of the unique needs of that population. It is considered a population at-risk. For instance, nine out of 10 LGBTQ+ older adults don’t have children. Now, as they’re older, they don’t have their children to help care for them. They’re three times more likely to live in poverty than a heterosexual older adult. Having to be closeted when they were younger has continued to lead to the disparity among the population.”

The East Lansing Prime Time Seniors Program has made a step in the right direction, and is putting in the work to continue those steps forward. The program received credentials from MiGen, an organization that provides services for Michigan LGBTQ+ residents 45 and older. 

Williams is proud to lead a local credentialed center for the East Lansing community. Every Wednesday at 9:30 a.m., the Hannah Community Center hosts Proud Coffee Hour for LGBTQ+ seniors. Williams has decades of experience in working in recreational therapy and independent living in senior communities. As the Prime Time Seniors Program director, she is dedicated to enriching the health and wellness of residents 55 and older.

“I’m honored to have the opportunity to try and meet the needs of all of the seniors in East Lansing,” she said. “Every Wednesday morning, we provide our proud coffee hour, which is an opportunity for members of the LGTBQ+ community and older adults to have a space that is open, affirming, comfortable and welcoming.”

Williams hopes that by offering that space, it can encourage open dialogue about what other resources, services and opportunities the community is lacking — so that the program can address those needs with future programming. There are still barriers that the aging population faces when embracing their true identities and lifestyles, Williams said.

It’s important for Williams to provide an inclusive program.

“We as an organization are committed to providing an environment where someone doesn’t have to question whether or not they are welcome,” she said. “It means that we are being loud and proud about our efforts to provide an inclusive environment for all, and that we are providing a safe space.”

The program is currently gathering ideas for what they would like to see offered in the future, including a possible speaker series. In the meantime, Williams is proud to work with adults in the later stages of life who are finally living their truths for the first time in decades. For fear of retribution or retaliation, many folks continue to live closeted, but providing a safe space has been a rewarding feeling for Williams.

“I’ve had contact with someone who has only ever been open with very close friends and family, and has never felt a comfort in sharing that part of themselves,” she said. “Their stance was that younger people are being accepted, but we as older people aren’t being accepted. We still have to worry about what if they won’t let us live in this place because of being gay or a lesbian. They are really excited to see programs that are specific to seniors because it is telling them it’s safer to be who they are in this setting. Here, they get to be who they are.”

Retired United Methodist Pastor and MSU alum Tom Fox is a current Haslett resident. He considers East Lansing, Haslett and Okemos communities to be very welcoming. He is part of the LGBTQ+ community, and frequently attends programming at Prime Time in East Lansing, which he heard about through Vintage Pride at the Salus Center in Lansing. 

“I’m always looking for new places to meet people, and that’s a good one,” he said. “I’m especially looking for folks who are not exactly teenagers. I love intergenerational things. I think groups like this are important because so much emphasis and rightfully so, is on the younger generations. In recent years, for most of their life, they’ve been much more able to speak out and be heard whereas our generation were raised in a time where you didn’t even talk about gender or sexuality. A lot of my generation is still finding out that they are part of the community.”

Fox, 76,  said people from his generation are much more hesitant to be open, but finding a group of people who feel the same is very helpful. Seeing an openness even in some church settings is also a proud feeling for the retired pastor. 

“I’m a United Methodist [pastor], and at our recent general conference, all of the prohibitions about clergy performing same-sex marriages were erased,” he said. “That makes me very happy. I know in some denominations, there is a great reluctance to accept anybody who is gay, lesbian or trans.”

Fox hopes the community can continue to advocate for themselves and each other, coming together to help one another. 

“As a pastor and a person, that’s one of my goals to work together to help people really find out who they are, and to be allowed to fully be themselves. Finding people that we can trust, building relationships, and finding out who might be a safe person to open up to is important.”

Feng, 53, is a Holt resident, who moved to the area with his husband from Buffalo, NY. Originally from China, the current McLaren nurse came to the United States over 25 years ago. A year after arriving in the country, he came out as a gay man. 

“I’ve been with the LGBTQ community ever since,” he said. “I see a rise in the LGBTQ aging community over the last 10 years. After I moved to Lansing, initially, I had to settle in my job, find a house, and then last November, I felt like I wanted to connect with the community again. I contacted the Salus Center in downtown Lansing. We had our first meeting with Vintage Pride 45+ in December of last year, and had about 10 people show up.”

Today, Vintage Pride 45+ hosts speaker series and social events, shows documentaries, and works in conjunction with East Lansing’s Prime Time Seniors program. The organizations work together and help promote each other’s activities. Feng is happy to see the aging populations become more open and willing to live their lives authentically and contribute to the community.

“I feel the younger generation probably doesn’t know all of the stories and struggles these older generations have been through,” Feng said. “Older generations have so much to tell, life experiences, and want to contribute to society.”

He’s grateful to the Lansing and East Lansing communities for being safe havens for the LGBTQ+ community. Not all communities or senior centers in neighboring towns are as accepting, Feng said. 

Vintage Pride 45+ meets on the second Saturday of each month from 2 to 3:30 p.m., with coffee and refreshments provided at the Salus Center in Downtown Lansing. The goal is to provide a relaxing, tight-knit support group that doesn’t take place in bars or loud settings. 

“It’s entertaining, provides social support, and is a somewhat informal educational kind of program,” Feng said. “We’re hoping we can have more collaborations with Prime Time in the future.”